The historic event about which I am word-playing is, of course, Insane Bolt's* ridiculous world record shattering 100 meter dash(es). Dude's fast. At the 2008 Beijing Olympics, he won the gold in the 100m, 200m, and 4x100m relay. Those are all the fastest races - when you add them all up they take just over a minute. Depending on how much PBR you drank, that's less time than it takes to pee!
Gee, I wonder who will win.
So Usain Bolt set a world/Olympic record in 2008 of 9.69 seconds. Luckily, he had enough time and energy to spare for a 20-meter-long celebration. He stopped racing and did this weird NFL-style victory dance. Some people were irked, but probably because they had just been thunderstruck by the realization that they would never be world record holders. Because no one is beating this guy. He now holds the current world record (set in Berlin in 2009) of 9.58 seconds.
Take a second and think about that. One mississippi...
If you had taken 8 more seconds, he would have finished the whole damn race, danced a jig and cracked a Red Stripe already. Jeez. Side note: he also holds the world record for the 200m dash - 19.19 seconds.
As a former sprinter, this completely blows my mind. I happened to run the exact same races as this guy (he's younger than me so I automatically have a small amount of bitterness). My best 100m time was probably 13.something, and 200m was probably 26 or 27.something. And I was fast for a 16-year-old girl! Perhaps I was jinxing myself by not wearing multiple pieces of heavy jewelry, as seems to be all the rage among the elite sprinting community. I bet the rhythmic clanking of a big gold chain against my sternum would have helped propel me across the finish line faster. Pshh.
Anyway, Usain Bolt of Lightning has totally upset the curve of world records. Here is an interesting article about his life as a mutant. If Michael Phelps is a shark, this guy's a cheetah.
That outlier on the bottom right is Usain Bolt breaking his own record (the closest competitor is himself). People have done all sorts of extrapolations and decided that the 100m dash could be run as quickly as 9.48 seconds. Superfast. If anyone can do it, this dude can. As long as he keeps up with his Fiber One.
*I am sure other people have nicknamed him this, but I thought of it all on my own, so I will continue to revel in its appropriateness. Yes, appropriateness is a word.
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