FAQ

Are you left-handed or right-handed?

No.

How come you don't update your blog more often?

Because I am busy teaching Cricket the names of her different toys. So far: Orange Toy, Blue Toy, Possum, Duck, Octopus (RIP), Random Yard Bone, and Butt Plug Toy. Really. It looks like this only it's purple and doesn't have the weird cilia: 

Sometimes she carries it around like a pacifier and it makes me like her even more.


Which type of bear is best?

Easy. Black Bear.

Are you trying to be offensive in your blog?

Maybe you should just play more defense and not worry about it.

How do you decide what to write about?

This is not 'Nam. There are rules. Rule #1 - wait patiently until stricken with inspiration for blog post. Rule #2 - snack. Rule #3 - write said blog post. Rule #3.8 - check if there are any new Texts from Last Night. Rule #4 - snack. Rule #5 - play "Hide Very Important Toy From Cricket Until She Totally Loses Her Shit." Rule #6 - repeat.

Do you like your dog more than you like most people?

It's not my fault my dog is better than most people.

What do you hate the most?

People who do not use spell check even though they are old enough to know that they are bad spellers. Also Chris Andersen of the Denver Nuggets. *Warning: This link is shudder-inducing.* There are no words to express how much his sheer existence repulses me. I hope he stubs all of his toes at once and gets something stuck in his teeth all day.

Did anyone actually ask any of these questions?

Reply hazy, try again.

Who sang that song, "I've Seen All Good People"?

All signs point to Yes.